2pm on Wednesday 31st December 2014…How did I get here?

It’s been quite the year…Dissertation proposal.defended, trip home, parents here for Christmas – Boys doing splendidly at school and in life – looking to applying to colleges for Tim…when did he grow up? He is such a man-boy and meshed in himself and the world around him – strong and steady – dependable as the sun rising and setting and anchoring us all together…Joel – flighty and mighty, leaving a lazy teen-aged trail of life – my stalwart, my talker – the one who supports me and listens and scolds and chastises me…so like me and also not. What a privilege to love these boys and call them mine…while other mothers mourn the loss of their sons and husbands and fathers because…

#Blacklivesmatter

Demoralized by the current reality of the violence – both active and passive – against the Black male body and also SO inspired by the response of protesters and allies – and by the work around my Black Male TFA participants…what do we do, but move forward? There is no other direction to move…

And so 2015 is upon me – Dissertation year, Graduation Year…New York City Marathon year, opportunities and choices and chances…I’m excited and afraid at the same time…I know there is a need to finish chapters, to move forward…

I am certain of one thing – my boys and their love, my parents and their dedication – my love of self and that that will evolve to higher levels as I learn to love myself even harder, make less compromises that don’t suit me; and live hard and to love myself even harder. Life is short – there is little time for regret, so I will act sure and steady and move in the direction of my heart. Come on 2015. I’m here. I’m ready.